Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dear World I Desperately Need Your Guidance...


So, today I managed to hurt the one person who's always been there for me.
Who's stood up for me against all odds.
Who's loved me since birth.

I hurt my mom, by snapping or yelling at her constantly, and for hurting her, I'm truly sorry.
I have no right to disrespect her the way I did today.

I have no right to disrespect her in anyway at all.
She's not only my elder but my mother as well, which makes the disrespect all the more wrong.

I'm sorry for making her cry,
I'm sorry for making her suffer,
I'm sorry for hurting my dad and in turn hurting her,
I'm sorry for yelling and snapping at her like I own the place,
I'm sorry for every single thing I've ever done wrong against her,
But mostly, I'm sorry for making her hate me.

Mothers are truly a gift from God.
But maybe that's my problem. I don't have God.
I lost faith a long time ago.

I lost faith when mom and papa got diagnosed.
I lost faith when God decided it was okay to make them ill and threaten to take them from me.
I lost faith when no sign came to tell me he wasn't doing this to punish me.

I lost faith. And maybe that's what I need to get back in order to be better.
I need God in my life and to restore my faith.

Maybe God, is putting me through all this, putting them through all this, to test our strength.

Maybe that was the sign.
My mom has been sick 10 years. And yet she is still here.
She is still strong because she knows God loves her.

Yet, I cannot see or feel that love.
But that's because love from God, is the faith you have for him in your heart.

So, I'm sorry mom.
I never meant to hurt you.
I think I lost my way without God's guidance.
I've ignored Him for so long, I know no better.

Forgive me.


Monday, August 16, 2010

Dear World The Pizza Is Cold...


How is everyone's week going?
Cause mine could not be going any better!

My classes are locked in, FAFSA is approved.
Work-Study is still going strong and for now I am still President of GSA.
And after I get my refund from Financial Aid back my older sister, April and I
will be ordering our tickets and going to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure
and I honestly cannot wait. Its going to be so much fun. I can fell it. :)

Right now I'm at work, but I love it. <3

I know some people don't like work-study cause you can only work
20 hours a week but ya know what, if your approved for it and you get hired, its money coming in every other week. I know some also need more money than what it pays but c'mon. Its better to have some kind of cash in the bank than none at all. Live it up people!

Thinking of going to Pulse this Wednesday for college night.
Hang with friends for a couple of hours. No drinking of course. :)

Anyways, I should get off now, my brother AJ should be here to pick me up
in about 10 minutes and really I just want to go home, eat a slice of
Dominos pizza and hang out in my room :)

Be good everyone!


Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dear World The Donuts Have Been Made...


So, tonight I have a date.

Which is actually my first date, ever.
His name is Joseph but he goes by Joe
but I can't call him that just yet, too weird.
Guess I'll call him Artie, which is his nickname.

We're meeting up at
the college so I'm pretty excited.
We're going to watch my friend
perform in this Opera themed performance.

After that we're going to Denny's
to get some coffee and maybe some food.

Anyways, just thought I'd keep you updated.

Oh and my brother AJ moved back home.
Which is nice,

I'm going to finish laundry now.


Friday, July 30, 2010

Dear World Your Ugly Side Is Showing...


So yesterday I was talking to a close friend.
(Note: Everyone will remain anonymous in this post.)
Now, this friend, who we will call "A"
has known me for 2 years, 3 at the most.
We've confined in each other, not always because we needed to talk.
But also because we both know neither of us will tell anyone.

Now, A, told me yesterday in a undisclosed location
that another friend (mutual to us both), who we will call "B" said that
an ex friend of both A and I(who we will call F) had said our advisor for our club
was mad at me. Yes, this did catch me off guard. As she would have
no reason to be mad at me in the first place.
A also told me that B and F had been talking about me behind my back.
Saying such things like: "She won't be President of GSA any longer, she's not good enough, she doesn't work hard enough."

Well, it seems to me that B needs to be permanently removed as my friend.
Seeing as how friends do not talk about one another behind the others backs.
Especially with someone who made the others life turn upside down.

A divulged further when she told me how she had a sneaking suspicion F would run against me in the upcoming election for GSA President. Which I already knew. But I'm still going to win.
A also said that B had said I don't work hard enough for everything I have. B said I'm lazy and sit on my ass all day on the computer at work, which isn't true.
B also said that him and F work harder than me because they have 5 classes this summer while I only have 2.

I had 4 classes in the spring, worked AND ran GSA as PRESIDENT.
What have you done? Nothing.
Yes I admit, I complain. But I have every right to complain.
I work my ass off for everything I have, for the people I love, for the friends by my side. Unlike your petty ass I don't quit.

So B, you got a job. Cleaning. Didn't get paid what you wanted to so you quit.
OMFG, do you know how many people are out there struggling, trying to find jobs that pay ANYTHING just so they have a steady check coming in twice a month?!
Your so damned lazy!
You complain all the time!
You don't pay bills, you don't drive, you don't buy your own groceries, you don't support other people. Everyone does everything for you.

And as for F, she can leave me alone too.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dear World of Grilled Cheese Lovers...


Today I nearly cried.

Why, you might ask?


I came into work and was ushered
into the Student Services offices from 10:30am
til 1pm trying to get help.

They sent me an email yesterday
telling me my classes were going to be deleted
and that I owed the college money for a non-compliant course.

It took them until 1pm
to finally go through my account and see that they
had never deactivated my AA Fine Arts while I was
seeking my AS Graphic Design :)

Which makes me a Double Major <3

Therefore, I owe them nothing.
But they sure as fudge owe me something.

I won't know how much I'm getting back until
next week which is fine. I cannot wait :)

Going home now.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Dear World I'm Afraid of The Dark...


20 minutes ago, I headed off to bed, went to the front door like I usually do to make sure it's locked and that nobody is outside.

Though this time, someone was. I thought it was dad heading back to his truck (b/c all I saw was the silhouette of someones back) well I saw their cell phone was lit up, yet dads cell phone is tiny and the screen is the size of a quarter, this screen looked like the size of an iPhone.

So I called dad to check where he was at (meanwhile I hid around the corner out of sight from the window) as the man moved from view and dad thankfully picked up.

Me: Dad where are you?
Dad: Near I-4 why?
Me:.....Because somebody just walked across our yard.
Dad: From the corner to cut across?
Me: No.. like they were at our windows and doors.
Dad: When did you see them?
Me: 2 seconds ago. I saw them, thought it was you like maybe you got locked out, and decided to call you and check..
Dad: Alright well you got the dogs there, they won't let nobody in, just go to your room, turn out the light and scan the yard I'll be home soon
Me: Alright, but dad that really scared me
Dad: I know just keep the dogs near you.
Me: Alright, bye.

Now. If you saw some strange figure, walking away from your house, how the hell would you feel?
I don't know about you, but I'm still shaking.

Dads on the phone again and wants me to go outside and check out the perimeter of the house. Screw. That.

I need a giant teddy bear, a shot of Jack Daniels, and the nearest kick of a gun in order to have enough calmed nerves to even attempt doing that.

I hate the freaking dark!
I'm scared of the dark.
I'm scared of spiders and damn-it I'm scared of freaky-deaky lurking larky figures stalking the perimeter of my house!

It doesn't make me feel safe. Not one bit!


Friday, July 9, 2010

Dear World Have You Seen The Sky...


How is everyone's morning?

Mine sucks.
But only because I'm up so early :)

I am making money for being up this early
so I guess it has it's plus side.

Today I'm going to be
helping Sheryl with Orientation packets
which is always fun.

It keeps me busy and makes me feel like
I'm earning my paycheck especially when the days are so slow.
(Like today when none of us Work-Studys are even scheduled to work)
None of us even work on Fridays. Hm.

Well, good thing I am.
I'll get my 20 hours this week and feel like I've earned it :)

Back to work.


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Dear World The Sun Is Shining...


How is everyone's week going?
Cause mine is going great!

Today I'm going to be making more
cookie jars than I will know what to do with.
And tomorrow I shall take over the world!
Not really but cha.
Tomorrow me and mom are supposed to be going to see
Despicable Me (hence the yellow font for the Minions)

Aren't they adorable?
Anyways, she is supposed to be preparing herself to go.
And when we go, I will buy her Jujubes Candy

And a giant bucket of popcorn with the drink of her choice!

And then we will come home and I'll stick her feet in epsom salt cause I know she'll be hurting but damn it she'll be happy about it!

I hope you all have a wonderful day!


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Dear World the Monsters Have Invaded...

I have these monsters I've been making in
ceramics class for 3 semesters now.

They will be on sale in a couple of months.
But if you request them now,
I will be sure to give you a great price :)Their made out of solid clay
They make great gifts too <3
Reserve now.
They will go fast!


Monday, June 14, 2010

Dear World The Cookie Jar Broke...

I know it's been a while.
But at least I am still here.

Work is actually fun here at the college.
So are my two classes.
Okay only one class is fun, the other is boring.
(It's Algebra)

I know I could have graduated a while back,
but not everything is that easy.
Math--in whatever form it decided to show its
ugly face in--has never been my friend.
We've had some mild flirting but nothing really serious.
Blame it on the liquor. (J/k)

Anyways, if anything ever went according to plan..
we'd be pretty boring.

I am writing a new story.
Yes, I will be posting the other.
No, I'm not posting the new one.
At least, not yet.

So, nobody warned me how crappy the parking is here.
I mean seriously, after all the money the college spent
repainting the stupid lines and redesigning a whole new parking lot..
you would think they would cater to the students. Give us
the closer parking spots.

I'm currently parked all the way out
at building 1. While I work in building 5.
Seriously, Valencia, fix this.
I know its a great work out..
but damn.

I must get back to work.
And then algebra class. -_-
Maybe I'll be able to post later.


Sunday, May 30, 2010

Dear World Of Veterans Past...

Today I honor the heroes.
The past, present and future.

The total number of deaths includes:
9.7 million military personnel and about 6.8 million civilians.

In WWII The total number of deaths:Over 60 million people were killed.

In the Iraq War:
As of May 28, 2010 there were 4,404 dead
and 31,827
wounded in action (WIA).

My Papa
, fought in World War II.
More specifically, he fought in Pearl Harbor.

His ship was the USS Bataan.

He's was awarded several medals.
One of them being the Purple Heart.
My Papa, didn't like discussing the war.
He was a very secluded person when it came to that.
I guess the war was far too much for him to recount to others.

However, when I was a kid, I remember one day
me and Papa were standing near the pool at his old house whenI got up the courage to ask him about the war.
He only told me that he had been shot several times
and in turn awarded the Purple Heart.

He got rid of all things war.
His medals.
His uniform.
His papers.
I guess it hurt too much.

Today is about remembering him.
Remembering his sacrifice.
His life.

Remembering him.
For who he was.
A veteran.
A hero.
My hero.

I miss you, Papa.
And I think about you everyday.

And for all the other veterans who served.
I thank you.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Dear World I Don't Know If You've Heard..

I hope dear world..
that you are still listening.
Life has been good.
I've traveled through space and time and ended up
in San Francisco.
It was amazing I promise.
The photos are timeless and the memories are sweet.
I'm sorry I've been MIA.
But sometimes life is just too much fun to
possibly think of words to describe it.
I got a job as a work-study in the Answer Center.
The people are nice, yet total dorks. :)
So I started a diet.
I hope it works.
I gotta be able to have that beach bod everyone is always talking about.
Flaunt it if you've got it. Right?
Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki both got married.
Too bad Jensen didn't marry me.
I'm writing a new story :)
It's going to be ginormous and epicly awesome.
I promise.
Fat Louie didn't get to come with me to San Fran, I kinda lost him.
But it's okay cause I found him a couple days after I got back!
Dunno where he's been but he feels better now that he's back.
is it me or does Eminem make you wanna bust a move?
Cha. Bust. A. Move.
So GSA is now trying to get a chance this coming year to go to New York.
And one of my GSA members said their going to run against me
when I try to run for re-election.
Honestly, I love being President.
I'm good at it. I'm REALLY good at it.
Pray for me.
Liz asked if i would house sit and dog sit her place while her and
Marilyn go out of town for two weeks.
I'm excited, and I would love to do it.
First: Approval from the parental units. AKA Mommy and Dad.
Second: License.
Third: Insurance.
No problem.
I'm getting my license tomorrow.
I can pay dad $120 for two months of insurance.
Apparently I only cost $60 bucks a month extra for insurance.
Awesome right?
And today I get paid.
I love getting paid.
I love working here.
I don't think Eudenice (a girl I work with
Whos also a work-study) likes me.
I think she kinda hates me.
And if she does like me
then she has an odd way of showing it.
Katie and Amal like me. :)
They talk to me without attitude or stink eyes or
snap-happy remarks.
Anyways, off that topic onto a new one.
I'm not really hungry right now. Which is weird.
I guess its the pills kicking in.
I'll eat in about an hour. Maybe I'll be hungry then.
I'll post pictures of everything I've got next time.
Anyways, think I'll just go back to writing my story.
Talk to you later next time world.