Friday, June 29, 2007

Dear World If Your Still Listenning...

Two of my brothers.. Eric and AJ. Are in the Army. I know its supposed to be this great cause. But I watch the news. I'm not stupid. I know whats happenning. I know how deadly this war is. I know they chose this life. But what about me? What about mom and dad? Did they not think of anyone besides themselves when they signed up? How could they be so stupid as to voluntarily put their lives on the line for a war? Yes. I believed in the war at first. Okay no I didnt I was scared out of my bloody mind. But hello! I was a kid when this all started. I see the families of soldiers mourning because they've just received news of their loved ones dying in the line of duty. I dont give a flying F*. I didnt want this life. I dont need this life. I dont want to be those families. Panicing, praying and hoping that if theres a god out there to take care of them and bring them back safely. No. I want a normal life. One where the only thing I have to worry about is what colleges to apply for. I dont need this. I'm only 17. I should be picking out an outfit for parties on friday nights, not sitting by the phone to hear the latest news on deployment and stationing. I didnt sign up for this and yet I find not only myself but my whole family caught in the middle because my brothers decided to be brave idiots. The war has enough casualties. I dont want my brothers added to the list. I dont want to stand over their caskets. I dont want to mourn. I dont want to search a great big wall for their names in which their ingraved in honor of their duty. No. What I want is for them to be here. Here. Alive. Safe. Home. I want to hear they've proposed to someone they love. To hear their expecting. Not to get a phone call from some stuck up Army man telling us we've lost one or both of them. Are you freaking insane? Gimme a break. Their my family not your human shields. I dont care if its for the country. These are my brothers.
Their not coming home for 4th of July. I doubt they'll be here for my birthday. Or Christmas. At one point in my life I can remember feeling so sorry for the lost soldiers families. Now I find myself behind the scenes and smack dab in the middle.

Someone save me.
Save them.
End this.