Saturday, April 27, 2013

Dear World...

Have you ever wondered why you look at the stars?
Is there some kind of alluring pull about them that you can't quite describe or are you simply curious as to how they got up there in the sky? Did God really make them? Was there a boom? Is someone out there on a distant planet looking at the same stars as you wondering the exact same thing?

This is what it felt like to be his girlfriend. He was a star, blazing hot in the deep dark sky as I stood on Earth and watched him from afar. He wasn't untouchable, wasn't some mega star you'll read about in the papers like Orion's belt. He was just a lone star who presented himself as much more. When in fact he was just an ordinary star and yet that didn't stop him from stealing my heart and taking my breath away.

I found out tonight.. or rather last night (since it's 2 in the morning here..) that he has a girlfriend. She's just not me. According to facebook that is.

And just like that his shine fizzles out to reveal his true form. A black hole. It looks fascinating, mysterious with a hint of adventure. Yet so completely false.

In the past, I would blame myself. Question myself as to why or where it went wrong.
What did I do wrong? Was something wrong with me? Was I not pretty enough? Thin enough?
Funny enough? Good enough? Why is it I'm so easy to give up? To overlook?

But tonight I realized something, I'm not the problem. If someone can't see what an amazing and talented person I am then that's on them. I refuse to be someones second choice and secret affair.

I deserve better than that. I am better than that.
I deserve to be someone's first and only choice.

Thank you for listening.


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Dear World...

I am truly sorry for neglecting my blog. A lot has changed over the course of a year.

A former friend is.. no longer with us. Its not my story to tell but I think of him often and wish he were here.

I got into a car accident. My dad was driving, me in the passenger. While we were turning left with the green light a car sped through the red and t-boned our vehicle. I'm now in physical therapy (pt for short) for injuries to my neck and back. Dad seems to be okay but we worry.

I fell in love with a soldier in the Army. His name is Kris. He's currently deployed and I miss him immensely.

I'm close to graduating. I've got maybe 4 classes left. I can't wait. I love my college and the amazing professors I've had over the past 5 years but I'm so ready to be done.

I've entered my work into 2 different shows now, one is the Student Juried show at school which I got into. The other is Florida Print and I'm still waiting to hear back from them :-)

Wish me luck.

I wish you all the best,