Dear World I'm 18 Years Old Now..

My birthday has already come and passed this September 19th. Now it being October 2nd it has been a while since my last post and that I should have blogged about my birthday when it happened instead of weeks later. But things happen, life becomes fun and soon enough your consumed by your own happiness or even tragedy. Well mine was happiness. I had a great birthday. Friday my parents, me and 2 friends went out to dinner at Fridays and had a great time. I highly recommend eating there atleast once in your lifetime. Its sooooo good. The workers sang to me. Including this really cute guy who made me blush big time by singin: "Someones cheeks are getting red!" It was funny. Fun. & Embarassing. But I loved it. At school it seems the majority of people who go there have a September birthday. Which is weird because September has always made me feel special and with everyone floating around with balloons just like mine made me feel less special. Until ppl I didnt even know wished me a happy birthday. It was nice. I came home happy. 18 can you believe it? I cant. I dont even feel 18 but yep I am. Its weird.

Hi mommy! I know your reading this and thinking. "What a blonde, didnt even mention her own mother." HA! Totally didnt forget you. Thank you for seducing the milkman and conceiving me. It should have won you a grammy but meh Hollywood doesnt pay attention to things like that. Apparently teddys can get you a long way when Milkmen get bored onna hot day. Haha. Love you mom. Thank you for everything you've ever done.

So my dear world of caring readers, forgive me for not blogging as often as I should or as often as others like to but this year its all about studying and getting straight A's or A's & B's. Gotta be impressive for college aps right? Forgive me for future mishaps and stalls where I barely get on to update you. I dont mean it. I'm just busy. So goodnight. Sweet dreams. Rock on.

Laterz

-Crys-

Dear World If Your Still Listenning...

Two of my brothers.. Eric and AJ. Are in the Army. I know its supposed to be this great cause. But I watch the news. I'm not stupid. I know whats happenning. I know how deadly this war is. I know they chose this life. But what about me? What about mom and dad? Did they not think of anyone besides themselves when they signed up? How could they be so stupid as to voluntarily put their lives on the line for a war? Yes. I believed in the war at first. Okay no I didnt I was scared out of my bloody mind. But hello! I was a kid when this all started. I see the families of soldiers mourning because they've just received news of their loved ones dying in the line of duty. I dont give a flying F*. I didnt want this life. I dont need this life. I dont want to be those families. Panicing, praying and hoping that if theres a god out there to take care of them and bring them back safely. No. I want a normal life. One where the only thing I have to worry about is what colleges to apply for. I dont need this. I'm only 17. I should be picking out an outfit for parties on friday nights, not sitting by the phone to hear the latest news on deployment and stationing. I didnt sign up for this and yet I find not only myself but my whole family caught in the middle because my brothers decided to be brave idiots. The war has enough casualties. I dont want my brothers added to the list. I dont want to stand over their caskets. I dont want to mourn. I dont want to search a great big wall for their names in which their ingraved in honor of their duty. No. What I want is for them to be here. Here. Alive. Safe. Home. I want to hear they've proposed to someone they love. To hear their expecting. Not to get a phone call from some stuck up Army man telling us we've lost one or both of them. Are you freaking insane? Gimme a break. Their my family not your human shields. I dont care if its for the country. These are my brothers.
Their not coming home for 4th of July. I doubt they'll be here for my birthday. Or Christmas. At one point in my life I can remember feeling so sorry for the lost soldiers families. Now I find myself behind the scenes and smack dab in the middle.

Someone save me.
Save them.
End this.

-Crys-

Dear World Though You May Not Be Listenning...

My junior year is coming to a sad yet impatiently waited for end. THANK GOD! LITERALLY THANK GOD! Senior year next year is the last year I will ever have to step foot in TC and I cant bloody well wait!

I'm not saying that junior year wasnt fun at times and made me happy but being annoyed by super dumb freshman can be a hastle... especially when they force the population of our HS to reach over 4200 students. It makes it harder to get to classes on time and makes it unbearable to fit in.. anywhere.

But other then the ordinary drama of ur mommas so fat jokes moving on.

Like tailgating jerks who think their sooooo great.

Or dogs that just dont listen to a dang word you say.

Newho.. I think that bout sums up what i've been doing.

Summers probably going to suck because I have to take summer school.. but the upside is I get to stay with my grandparents for a week or two which is pretty sweet. I miss them so much you have no idea how hard it is being away from them. I miss helping Papa clean the pool and helping Nana cook and set the table. I especially miss hearing her yell at the TV at game shows and soap operas that were filmed years back. It may not sound like much but now that I think of it.. I miss it. It was weekend routine with them. And I really miss it. I miss the way Papa smells of Old Spice and the way my Nana laughs cause its just so darn cute. I didnt realize it but now I do.. I realize how much I depended on those moments and memories. And now thats all they are.. memories. Atleast until I visit them XD.

As the TMNT's say: Kawabunga!!

Mothers day is coming up. I didnt buy anything for mom instead I made her this AWESOME monkey out of clay.. i dug a hole in the top so that she could either put pens or pencils in it or even a candle!

She really likes it.. which kicks butt cause it makes her laugh everytime she sees it or thinks about it. Now all we have to do is name him. You can see a picture of him on her journal.

I made more jewlery this week. I think they rock and will soon post them up to begin selling them. Apparently me doing so is REALLY big on the market, which is cool with me if ppl like my stuff.

I'm going to be driving soon. Haha. Watch out old people here I come!.........................................................ROADTRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOT WOOT!!

I am totally doing that! I HAVE too. It would totally be a waste of asphalt if I didnt. Lol.

*BeLcH!*

Newho I think this concludes my boring yet hoo-ma-rous rant.

Til next time my little tacos...

I like your pants around your feet

I like dirt thats on your knees

I like the way you still say please while your lookin up at me

Your like my fav damn disease...

Lada

-Crys-

Hello World..

Today is April 1st. Happy April Fools Day. Hope you had fun with your pranks. I drew something new today. I drew Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow. It looks better in person though. Ill post it some other time. Too tired right now.

Have you ever been told that your not good enough? Not smart enough? Not pretty enough? Not.. enough? I have. I was told by my art teacher that I wasnt good enough. Art and Writing is my life. And truthfully I cried when she told me that. I actually concidered giving up art. Why? Because nobody believed in me. Cept for my mom and I love her for that. But what stopped me from giving up was not only my mom but my Creative Writing teacher Ms.Kohl who told me not to listen to my art teacher. That she believed that i'm a brilliant artist. So.. with her and my moms encouragement I didnt give up and people still tell me my work is beautiful. Something they wish they could accomplish.

When I was 12 years old someone I looked up to told me I wasnt good enough, that I'd never make it to college because I was lazy and fat. I cried. But I got over it and ignored them. Their not worth listenning to anymore. I dont even remember why I looked up to them in the first place. To me.. their not worth much anymore.

So.. the point of my never ending rant? Dont give up. To hell with what the haters think. Their not worth your tears. Just keep going forward. Let go of the past and look towards the future. Because in the end, you'll be the one with the smile.

Lada

-Crys-

Dear World..

Spring Break has come and gone and tomorrow school starts back up. Oh goody. Watch me gleam with excitement. Puh-Lease! I was so getting used to sleeping in and not working my ass off with stress. Now I'm forced to go back into that vastly large campus and try to prove myself good enough for college. Ugh. Why can't they just let us off for a bit more? I hate going to school and learning crap which isnt fun to learn. Unless its art and writing. Then i'm interested.

Thor. My dog. My rottie. My annoying pest. Has torn up my room. Worse then it already was. He found a bottle of cough medicine and decided to paint my bed with the red liquid cause he thought it would be so cute to show mommy his art work for when she returned from laundry and cookin food. Oh joy. Then he tore up the garabe bag I had filled cause he wanted to help mommy dispose of its evilness. Psh. Now I gotta clean all over again and do my best to clean my bed so I can sleep in it.

So.. How was your spring break? Work? Beach? Sun? Great. Good to hear it. I think I'll try laying in my bed now.. Night world. Remember. Its not whats under your bed you have to worry about. But whats on it. Like a pest of a dog who thinks its cute to dye mommys bed pink. Grr.

Goodnight.

Later.

With love,

-Crys-

Dear Forgotten World..

I wont count the ways but I will fill you in. Me and my long time boyfriend Zakry have split around November.. lol. I ended it. He wasnt commited enough and basically abandoned me already so yeah. Neways. Schools been okay I guess. We've had FCAT and SATs will becoming up next yr(My senior yr). & Then its onto my ACTs which sux. All these tests and for what? To prove to the state that your good enough to getta scholorship and go to college free of charge? No thanks. I'd rather pay. Plus.. Acandemics have never been my strong suit and for that I have alotta regrets. Sometimes I think what if? What if I didnt screw around at school BSing my way through just to graduate and making my moms proud instead of busting my ass studying away and possibly making top of my graduating class. I'm a smart kid. I could if I wanted. I just, Its alotta stress. And half the time i feel so tired. As if I were weak and its really annoying. I think ill go into night school and summer school. Work my ass off and prove I'm good enough. I know I dont have to prove anything to anyone. But this time I wanna do it for me and only me. And a lil for mom so I can hear her say shes proud of me. I think it would be the first time I'd hear her say it and when she does I know i'll cry. Omg Imma be a senior. I'm turning 18 in September and my brother AJ is taking me to a club to celebrate. Awesome right? Lol. I'm dragging my friends along. No way am I being left alone while he gets all the attention of ppl who catch his eye. Wow. I'm getting old. Snap. Crackle. & Pop.

I have new best friends. Dont get me wrong Sherri will always be my sister/best friend. But these guys are really important to me. Amanda is in 2 classes with me. Marine Science and Ceramics3. Me and her are obsessed with Harry Potter. Seriously its like religion for us. If they had a church dedicated to it me and Amanda would probably be the leaders of it before anyone else. Shes probably the only girl at school that gets me. Ya know? Vee... Shes. Shes not the best of friend. And shes not reliable or a good listenner and when you try to tell your probs in confidence she changes the subject. Its like she could care less. Neways. Onto Sam. Shes very cool. Shes probably helped me more then she knows but hey who hasnt helped another in some way. Me and her are both very obsessed with POTC and HP. & Asian bands/dramas and movies. What can I say? Their irresistable. But yeah. Sams muh best friend. She gets me in more ways then you know world. Ha. Girl meets World. Awesome.

Wow. I dont think i've ever written this much before but hey thats okay. Did you know theirs 3 different kinds of Rootbeer? Yeah. Theirs Barq's. Mug. and the cheap-o you buy at Publix to save you sum cash. All the christmas lights in my room went out so now I have to replace them. Yes. Fascinating isnt it?

The puppies are all snuggled deep in my bed under the covers sprawled out in comfort. Brats need to move their butts cuz dang i'm tired. Hm. My sneakers on the desk. And the other one is under the desk. I have no idea how it got up here. Maybe cuz I'm too tired that I cant remember. God. Gotta upload these pics from the cam. I'll do it tomorrow. Too tired right now.

I gotta clean my room. So messy. Theres even a pizza box sitting ontop of the monitor. & A plate from tonights dinner. Lol. Sucha messy kid aint I? Ha. Theirs a sock sitting on the laptop case. Haha. Wow. Randomness.

Wow. Do I even have clothes for tomorrow? Shiznit. I hadnt even though about that. Oh well.. Ill worry bout that tomorrow.

Laterz!

-Crys-

P.S. MUG is the better Rootbeer.